Hotel Last Resort - Violent Femmes: Review
are an American folk band known for their pioneering interpolations of folk punk and acoustic rock decades before indie music became an established genre on their self-titled debut album Violent Femmes. Considered by many to be a one album wonder, since their groundbreaking debut they have released nine more records and never achieved the level of commercial or critical success as their debut record or some of its most well known singles.
Review By Lavender:
I don't know why I did this. I love Violent Femmes as much as anyone and on top of that the bands second record Hallowed Ground is one of the most underrated albums of the 80s and desperately deserves more praise and attention for the sounds it helped pioneer. But since then there really hasn't been much to Violent Femmes sound and in recent years they have been particularly stuck in the 90s. So much so that I skipped reviewing their last record as I didn't have much nice to say about it, but morbid curiosity got the best of me after I heard this albums 2nd single. As it turns out the track that made me want to bring back my Worst Singles Of The Year list is only the tip of the iceberg of what very well may be the worst album I've heard all year.
Another Chorus is the track that made me so curious at what this record will sound like as the song is absolutely dreadful and the lyrics cry out about boring and awful choruses but the song is one of the worst offenders of that same flaw that I've heard all year. Other tracks on the record like I Get What I Want and It's All Or Nothing are also contenders for some of the worst hooks I've heard all year, and not just in rock music anyway because some of these songs make attempts to pull from the post-grunge and folk roots the band has and they manage to ruin those sounds too.
Post Grunge is a good thing to bring up as more than any album I have heard in years this thing is absolutely stuck in the 90s. Even when frontman Gordon Gano says something contemporary or the instrumental introduces something synthetic the band digs in their heels and absolutely refuse to move out of the world of 90s stoner and folk rock. I'm Nothing is a self-aware slacker anthem that sounds like something out of the Blind Melon playbook and this even seems thematically like the kind of song they could get right but they absolutely don't. This Free Ride is yet another throw-up inducing 90s cut that makes me cringe so hard my stomach hurts, the worst of it being when Gordon says "Frickin" twice in the song.
When the band isn't sounding decades out of their prime they are just sounding straight corny with some absolutely unbearable lyrics and camp counselor grade guitar plucking on songs like Not OK and Hotel Last Resort. The latter of which is literally a Hotel California rip off, in 2019. It also serves as the point on the record where I became pretty comfortable each time through that I was going to unapologetically hate this thing.
Some of the more bearable tracks land in the middle of the album, whether it is the love-centric ballads like Everlasting You or Paris To Sleep, the strange Bob Dylan impersonating Adam Was A Man, or the only track here that actually sounds like it was recorded in 2019 I'm Not Gonna Cry. While these songs aren't terrible they are basically throwaway quality tracks from any halfway decent rock record I've heard this year and it makes me very happy that I came to the defense of bands like The Black Keys and Cage The Elephant because they could be doing shit like this.
I really wish I could stop the review right here and just give my synopsis of the pain I went through and deliver a terrible score. Unfortunately the band has saved what I think may be the two worst tracks on the entire record for last. Sleepin At The Meetin is now the distant front-runner for the worst thing I've experienced all year, even transcending music this thing makes the Pet Symmetry remake and Hulu's Four Weddings And A Funeral adaptation look like quality content. For a minute and a half Gordon forces anyone who dares to listen through rapid fire a capella slant rhyming, starting with "Sleepin At The Meetin" and getting much much worse. Throw in some atrocious and badly mixed chorus background vocals and you have the concoction that truly pushes the definition of what can be considered auditory torture, so much so that I may even be willing to call this track a war crime. Speaking of war crimes the final song on the album is an honest to god cover of God Bless America. If you don't believe that then you're absolutely in the right because I didn't either, and spent the four plus minute runtime of the track completely stunned and dumbfounded by the addition of the track. You would think the band may try and do this with an edge of punkisms that implies they are being disingenuous or edgy or anything, but they don't. Somehow it is a fitting conclusion to an album packed full of nonstop bad decisions with one more head scratching choice to leave you thinking "Who could have possibly approved this?" right before the albums rolls to a close.
Hotel Last Resort is the worst thing I've heard all year, and that includes Sir-Babygirl, Lil Skies, Madonna, Sundara Karma, Gucci Mane, Big K.R.I.T, Avril Lavigne and Beirut. Do I really need to say anymore?
Seriously though the misguided attempts at being political that come off as cringey through the awful lyrics, the refusal to leave some of the most nauseating 90s cliches behind, and the absolutely amateur sounding production, performances and songwriting across this record make it truly and uniquely an absolutely obnoxious experience to sit through and after doing so three time for this review I am never touching a single song from this record ever again. 1/10
For more folk music check out my review of Bibio's Ribbons here.
